Post 13: Are you Selling Your Car?

originally created as Column 13, November, 2000



Every so often it happens that my car suddenly increases its market value. I’ve been driving it for 10 years and intend to drive it until it dies. It has significantly broken down before I’ve had a blind date. A sane person would cancel her blind date and take care of her car, but I saw it as an omen and left my car overnight to wait for the tow truck and went on the blind date anyway. It turned out to be a very successful blind date that ended up being a few month relationship and I even got taken abroad by this man. And to think that if I had given in to the mechanical calls of my car, I never would have met this guy.

Since our relationship faded out, I haven’t had a boyfriend in months, let alone a third date. My car is soon due for its six-month tune-up, so maybe it is a sign I will meet a new man soon, and maybe send my imaginary boyfriend on a vacation. So why has my car increased its market value? It seems that certain men ask me if I am selling my car in order to start up with me. It happened today, just as I was feeling really lousy, had no make-up on and was extremely tired. Perhaps he thought I was wearing my “I don’t want a boyfriend” t-shirt, because the man who wanted to buy my car actually wanted to meet me. He was 48 going on 58 (that’s how old he looked) and simply unattractive. But I was so flattered that someone actually paid attention to my car and me that I agreed to take his phone number.


I sometimes fix up my friends if I meet a potentially suitable guy, so you never know. It turned out that he was divorced, non-smoker, with three grown children. This might not be the time of year for me to meet a new boyfriend, but it’s encouraging to know that I can sell my car. Or maybe it’s time to get a pet. I hear it’s easy to strike up a conversation with other pet owners. My car made it up the hills to Jerusalem last week but it’s still an uphill battle with the search for love and affection beyond self-love. No sex in this city tonight!



Today this writer’s nail polish matched the color of her car - perfectly. She can match her nail polish to her car but lately she can’t find a match of the opposite sex.

Post 10: Wedding Ring for Sale

originally posted as column ten, November, 2000


A couple is engaged. The invitations have been printed, the bride’s dress has been altered and the groom’s suit has been bought. Although by Jewish law only the woman needs an object of value (usually a wedding ring) for the religious ceremony, the man often gets one too, as a tradition, as a symbol of partnership. I am yours and you are mine. We are devoted to each other. We will not cheat on each other. We will wear the rings proudly and show the world that we are spoken for. The religious women cover their hair. The more modern orthodox or secular women leave their hair uncovered but wear wedding rings.

Or so I thought. It seems that some just find them uncomfortable and keep them at home or in safety deposit boxes. As for the men, some work in more physical jobs than women do. I’m not being sexist, but there are more men working as electricians, plumbers and painters than there are women. The ring is not to stop the married men from having affairs, but at least those women not wanting to get involved with married men can sometimes tell that they are married. I don’t think it’s fair that some married men do not wear wedding rings.

A friend of mine tells me to stop going on blind dates and to pick up men on the street, in playgrounds, shopping centers, cafes, at red lights. So when I see a man with a child or two in the playground or in a shopping center, the problem is that I look at his hand and I don’t know if he’s married, divorced, widowed, single or gay. Chances are that if he is particularly good looking, he is probably gay, but there are not that many gay men, as far as I know with children. It is becoming more common, but usually I seem to run into married men. They look like great fathers. Sometimes their wives emerge from behind the trees, or come waltzing down the sidewalk with a stroller and a small baby.

As I said, it’s just not fair. If the married men and women refuse to wear their wedding rings, then it is about time for the divorced men and women to have some sort of sign. Perhaps a certain colored sock? A tattoo? (Not a good idea – what if they remarry?) Hair dyed an unusual color (blue for a broken marriage?) A hat...or the t-shirt I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (post 1) – I don’t want a boyfriend. It seems so easy to start a conversation about a man’s child or dog, but how do you pick the right guy to talk to? Until you build up the nerve, he is off with another woman. You know the type. She doesn’t try, but gets the guy. I’m through with trying, although I never really started.

That’s why I’m writing. I figure if I write long enough about it I might create this reality, and maybe we wouldn’t need friends, matchmakers or the internet to set us up. We could go to trips for singles and know each person’s status. Perhaps the men should walk around with little computer screens around their heads with their marital status, smoking and dietary habits flashing as subtitles.

When I was twelve I didn’t think any boy would ever like me, and would like any boy who so much paid the slightest bit of attention to me. I remained a virgin until an age I do not yet wish to disclose. Maybe those teenage boys should have had signs at the school dances and I wouldn’t have been so shy. The sign could have read “I have a crush on....”

So it’s groping in the dark when you’re looking for a serious relationship. If you just want sex, I guess, then just put on a wedding ring.

This writer wore her wedding and engagement rings throughout her marriage. Today, most of the rings around her are from her telephones.