Post 1: What's sex got to do with it?

originally created as column 1, September, 2000

So why do women want sex anyway?

There are vibrators – there is literature, internet sites, phone lines. You don’t even need men to make babies, as there are sperm banks. So why date? With lesbianism seeming to be in fashion, I feel almost apologetic when I admit that I still like men. I mean I know that they are from Mars and we are from Venus, but I happen to like men still.... their deep voices, their charm (sometimes) and their Peter Pan complex. They need their space. God forbid you pressure them. So why date them? For sex? I think it’s for a hug. A male hug. It’s something you just can’t get from a girlfriend, a child, a mentor. You need a man. I mean I need one anyway. Someone to hug, to turn me on, to put his arm around me in a movie or to walk hand in hand down the street or look at a sunset. Old, romantic, maybe out of fashion, but I want a boyfriend. Yes, one shouldn’t need. So I don’t need. I want.

I thought of a new strategy. Men can sense a woman “looking” (for a boyfriend) a mile (kilometer?) away and will avoid her like the plague. So how about if I print a t-shirt saying “I don’t want a boyfriend.” I have girl- next-door looks and men just don’t start up with me on the street, so perhaps if I had a t-shirt trying to keep them away, it might work. Enough of internet dating, parties, friends, hikes.... just a plain t-shirt trying to keep them away..... I mean why are men so fascinated with lesbians anyway. They see them as a challenge and think that if they were to meet the real thing, they will forget about their sexual orientation and see the real light.

I really shouldn’t speak for lesbians but speaking for three straight females; (not their real names)

• Liat – single, tall and thin
• Dafna – divorced without kids, medium height, medium weight, shoulder length hair
• Gilit Frank – divorced plus one, short, a little chubby

All three of us attractive and basically normal. By normal I mean that we don’t have horns, we enjoy sex, we want a long-term relationship – some of us want marriage and kids. We all dress fairly well and are positive educated women, not overpowering and fun loving...

And despite the fact that we have experience in dating and relationships, the men are still from Mars and haven’t managed to connect with the women from Venus. And I don’t think they’ve read John Gray’s books anyway, or perhaps they are too busy reading John Gray’s books and have decided they don’t really want a girlfriend after all.

So I think I’ll print out that t-shirt. Perhaps it will work. Anyone want to volunteer to wear one?

Why I started this blogWelcome to my first posting of my blog "No Sex in the City" written by me under my pen-name, Gilit Frank.

Here's an interview with myself (idea courtesy of Lynne Reid Banks, one of my favorite authors):

Me: Why did you start this blog?
Myself: My son, now 14 years old, kept insisting

Me: What do you blog about?

Myself: I don't really have to blog about anything, as I have seven years of material, started in 2000 to use, so I'm going to start posting this material one at a time.

Me: What's it about and who cares?
Myself: In the year 2000, I was writing very lengthy emails to friends about my dating life and parenting issues. One of them said ' you are wasting these stories on me.Why don't you start publishing them?

Me: So did they get published?
Myself: No, I didn't succeed in finding the right readership. And then I heard about blogs. So I just opened one up.

Me: But you still didn't say what you're writing about.
Myself: Yes, I tend to ramble. I write about life as a mother with a divorced child, and my dating life and lack of a sex life, at the time. I started writing when my son was 6, so keep that in mind as you read.

Me: Why do you call it "No Sex in the City?"
Myself: Inspired by the t.v. program, “Sex and the City”, I decided to write a column called “No sex in the city” featuring my friends and yours truly and their aspiration to have sex with perhaps a bit of love, or caring, or at least knowing their partners’ last names in Tel Aviv. At times they actually succeed, but until then, there is a lot of talk, hopes, dreams, and sometimes a bit of reality.Tel Aviv isn’t New York and yet in Achbar Ha’ir (entertainment supplement of the influential Hebrew daily “Ha’aretz”), there was a weekly column called “Sex in the City”. Now I can’t write in Hebrew, so I thought I would like to write a column entitled “No Sex in the City”.This blog does not intend to be scientific or accurate, but is simply a collection of anecdotes, based on true stories about sex and dating in the center of Israel.

Me: Thank you for taking the time to talk to me.
Myself: My pleasure, it's good to talk to me sometimes.