Post 1: What's sex got to do with it?

originally created as column 1, September, 2000

So why do women want sex anyway?

There are vibrators – there is literature, internet sites, phone lines. You don’t even need men to make babies, as there are sperm banks. So why date? With lesbianism seeming to be in fashion, I feel almost apologetic when I admit that I still like men. I mean I know that they are from Mars and we are from Venus, but I happen to like men still.... their deep voices, their charm (sometimes) and their Peter Pan complex. They need their space. God forbid you pressure them. So why date them? For sex? I think it’s for a hug. A male hug. It’s something you just can’t get from a girlfriend, a child, a mentor. You need a man. I mean I need one anyway. Someone to hug, to turn me on, to put his arm around me in a movie or to walk hand in hand down the street or look at a sunset. Old, romantic, maybe out of fashion, but I want a boyfriend. Yes, one shouldn’t need. So I don’t need. I want.

I thought of a new strategy. Men can sense a woman “looking” (for a boyfriend) a mile (kilometer?) away and will avoid her like the plague. So how about if I print a t-shirt saying “I don’t want a boyfriend.” I have girl- next-door looks and men just don’t start up with me on the street, so perhaps if I had a t-shirt trying to keep them away, it might work. Enough of internet dating, parties, friends, hikes.... just a plain t-shirt trying to keep them away..... I mean why are men so fascinated with lesbians anyway. They see them as a challenge and think that if they were to meet the real thing, they will forget about their sexual orientation and see the real light.

I really shouldn’t speak for lesbians but speaking for three straight females; (not their real names)

• Liat – single, tall and thin
• Dafna – divorced without kids, medium height, medium weight, shoulder length hair
• Gilit Frank – divorced plus one, short, a little chubby

All three of us attractive and basically normal. By normal I mean that we don’t have horns, we enjoy sex, we want a long-term relationship – some of us want marriage and kids. We all dress fairly well and are positive educated women, not overpowering and fun loving...

And despite the fact that we have experience in dating and relationships, the men are still from Mars and haven’t managed to connect with the women from Venus. And I don’t think they’ve read John Gray’s books anyway, or perhaps they are too busy reading John Gray’s books and have decided they don’t really want a girlfriend after all.

So I think I’ll print out that t-shirt. Perhaps it will work. Anyone want to volunteer to wear one?