I haven't written for awhile...lot going on...
You sink into me
as you snore away
I want to love you
I want to stay
Silk skin welding into one
Going to leave before the morning sun.
This writer dedicates this short post to all those lovers who live in separate houses and need to get back home to their children....and in this case, before my son wakes up in the morning...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Post 61: Attracting the Repellent
Post 61: Attracting the Repellent
Since THE breakup in November 2008, I've spent quite a few weekends going on hikes organized by volunteers from various social groups on the Internet, a sort of Israeli-Facebook mixed with Jdate. Because the hikes are free, you never know if 30 or 300 people will show up, children, singles, or both.
Now that it's getting so hot and humid in Israel, the hikes are also being held in the evening. So I headed out one Saturday evening, along with one of my girlfriends, to one of the said evening hikes. This time, much to my surprise, there were only about 30 people. I spotted a few couples in their 50s and 60s, a mother and daughter, a few girlfriends in their 50s or so, a single woman in her 20s or 30s, a few single guys in their 20s and 30s, the "leader" of the group in his 50s and his wife, and an unidentified threesome in their 30s or 40s - two men and a woman.
My friend and I concentrated on the beautiful walk, timed perfectly to view the sunset from the cliffs overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, between Tel Aviv and Haifa. I could tell it was summer because of the beads of sweat starting to drip down my back from the humidity. Confession: I was also out of shape, as I hadn't hiked for a few weeks. I spoke mainly to my girlfriend whom I hadn't seen for some time, (perhaps 24 hours!) I find it both funny and sad when I end up in such romantic spots with a woman rather than a man. I am still straight and not about to change sides in my 40s. But I can still enjoy the feeling of beauty and romance without a man. Yeah, right! Who am I kidding? Although I was pleased that the crowd was relatively small and intimate, I remembered all too well the "good" things of my three-year relationship, and one was almost the weekly hikes in the Galilee, sometimes (though obviously less towards the bitter end) hand-in-hand. My girlfriend is a cynic, a little bit like "Miranda" in Sex and the City. "If I haven't had a good relationship up to now, or when I was in my 20s, why should I attract a good relationship now?"
Although Facebook claims that I am more like Carrie Bradshaw, my attitude towards romance is closer to Charlotte York, and I know that I will meet someone again...he's out there, somewhere.
As the sun set, I didn't feel very romantic anymore. The beads of sweat on my back were replaced by the bites of mosquitoes quickly and visciously biting at my exposed skin, and even through my clothes, with insect aggressivity that I hadn't witnessed since immigrating from Canada to Israel, more than 20 years ago.
Enough of the Canadian politeness. There is no politeness when it comes to mosquitoes, regardless of their nationality. Here too I am definitely straight and prefer the male variety anytime. It's the females that bite!!! As dusk turned into dark, the mosquitoes declared war against me.
"Does anyone have mosquito repellant?" I yelled with my Anglo Saxon accent in Hebrew.
"Yes, there's a young man over there named Erez who has some".
I approached Erez who turned out to be one of the unidentified threesome. Wow, I thought, a single guy. The attractive blonde lady who was hanging out with him was actually a friend of his who came to the hike with her husband. The mosquito repellent (whose strong smell would normally repel men and women, as well as mosquitoes) gave me the excuse to talk to someone I would not have had the nerve to speak to. As liberal as Israelis claim to be, it's still not considered that acceptable for a woman to start up with a man. There are exceptions and some of you will disagree with me, but I've seen some live interactions, and the men still seem to like being the hunters and iniators. In this case, I may have started out by hunting men, but ended up hunting only a relief to my insect attacks. If men could chase after me like mosquitoes did, I wouldn't have any time to write this blog.
I seemed to have struck the jackpot. Not only did Erez have mosquito repellant but he was also divorced, close to my age (at first glance), seemingly non-smoking (although I've been disappointed on that front before) and has a few children as well. He was also employed, not bad looking and friendly. We spoke a bit about our children and some topics to do with his profession (not revealing so as not to identify him). I did wonder why the blonde woman was watching him like a hawk, considering that she was there with her husband. As a matter of fact, I wondered at first if they were brother and sister.
I introduced him to my girlfriend as well, as if to say "I found a divorced guy with kids! Finally". At the end of the evening, the threesome said good-bye, but Erez didn't ask me for my phone number. The usual scenario went through my head "too overweight; he prefers dark-skinned women; too talkative; lives too far away; prefers sabras (sabra usually refers to an Israeli citizen born in Israel) or whatever".
I checked with the Israeli blonde on the said internet site, and got the true reason - he already has a girlfriend - she just couldn't make it to the hike that evening - and she is friends of the blonde! "Didn't he say anything about her?", she asked me.
I thought to myself - perhaps he did, but I heard only what I wanted to hear...or maybe he didn't as I didn't ask. I did ask if he was a "bachelor". In any case, I met some nice people and enjoyed the hike. I didn't expect to meet someone who was dating material in the first place, although I always leave the option open.
This writer didn't find her knight in shining armor....but she was rescued, in the night, with armor against mosquitoes!
Since THE breakup in November 2008, I've spent quite a few weekends going on hikes organized by volunteers from various social groups on the Internet, a sort of Israeli-Facebook mixed with Jdate. Because the hikes are free, you never know if 30 or 300 people will show up, children, singles, or both.
Now that it's getting so hot and humid in Israel, the hikes are also being held in the evening. So I headed out one Saturday evening, along with one of my girlfriends, to one of the said evening hikes. This time, much to my surprise, there were only about 30 people. I spotted a few couples in their 50s and 60s, a mother and daughter, a few girlfriends in their 50s or so, a single woman in her 20s or 30s, a few single guys in their 20s and 30s, the "leader" of the group in his 50s and his wife, and an unidentified threesome in their 30s or 40s - two men and a woman.
My friend and I concentrated on the beautiful walk, timed perfectly to view the sunset from the cliffs overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, between Tel Aviv and Haifa. I could tell it was summer because of the beads of sweat starting to drip down my back from the humidity. Confession: I was also out of shape, as I hadn't hiked for a few weeks. I spoke mainly to my girlfriend whom I hadn't seen for some time, (perhaps 24 hours!) I find it both funny and sad when I end up in such romantic spots with a woman rather than a man. I am still straight and not about to change sides in my 40s. But I can still enjoy the feeling of beauty and romance without a man. Yeah, right! Who am I kidding? Although I was pleased that the crowd was relatively small and intimate, I remembered all too well the "good" things of my three-year relationship, and one was almost the weekly hikes in the Galilee, sometimes (though obviously less towards the bitter end) hand-in-hand. My girlfriend is a cynic, a little bit like "Miranda" in Sex and the City. "If I haven't had a good relationship up to now, or when I was in my 20s, why should I attract a good relationship now?"
Although Facebook claims that I am more like Carrie Bradshaw, my attitude towards romance is closer to Charlotte York, and I know that I will meet someone again...he's out there, somewhere.
As the sun set, I didn't feel very romantic anymore. The beads of sweat on my back were replaced by the bites of mosquitoes quickly and visciously biting at my exposed skin, and even through my clothes, with insect aggressivity that I hadn't witnessed since immigrating from Canada to Israel, more than 20 years ago.
Enough of the Canadian politeness. There is no politeness when it comes to mosquitoes, regardless of their nationality. Here too I am definitely straight and prefer the male variety anytime. It's the females that bite!!! As dusk turned into dark, the mosquitoes declared war against me.
"Does anyone have mosquito repellant?" I yelled with my Anglo Saxon accent in Hebrew.
"Yes, there's a young man over there named Erez who has some".
I approached Erez who turned out to be one of the unidentified threesome. Wow, I thought, a single guy. The attractive blonde lady who was hanging out with him was actually a friend of his who came to the hike with her husband. The mosquito repellent (whose strong smell would normally repel men and women, as well as mosquitoes) gave me the excuse to talk to someone I would not have had the nerve to speak to. As liberal as Israelis claim to be, it's still not considered that acceptable for a woman to start up with a man. There are exceptions and some of you will disagree with me, but I've seen some live interactions, and the men still seem to like being the hunters and iniators. In this case, I may have started out by hunting men, but ended up hunting only a relief to my insect attacks. If men could chase after me like mosquitoes did, I wouldn't have any time to write this blog.
I seemed to have struck the jackpot. Not only did Erez have mosquito repellant but he was also divorced, close to my age (at first glance), seemingly non-smoking (although I've been disappointed on that front before) and has a few children as well. He was also employed, not bad looking and friendly. We spoke a bit about our children and some topics to do with his profession (not revealing so as not to identify him). I did wonder why the blonde woman was watching him like a hawk, considering that she was there with her husband. As a matter of fact, I wondered at first if they were brother and sister.
I introduced him to my girlfriend as well, as if to say "I found a divorced guy with kids! Finally". At the end of the evening, the threesome said good-bye, but Erez didn't ask me for my phone number. The usual scenario went through my head "too overweight; he prefers dark-skinned women; too talkative; lives too far away; prefers sabras (sabra usually refers to an Israeli citizen born in Israel) or whatever".
I checked with the Israeli blonde on the said internet site, and got the true reason - he already has a girlfriend - she just couldn't make it to the hike that evening - and she is friends of the blonde! "Didn't he say anything about her?", she asked me.
I thought to myself - perhaps he did, but I heard only what I wanted to hear...or maybe he didn't as I didn't ask. I did ask if he was a "bachelor". In any case, I met some nice people and enjoyed the hike. I didn't expect to meet someone who was dating material in the first place, although I always leave the option open.
This writer didn't find her knight in shining armor....but she was rescued, in the night, with armor against mosquitoes!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Post 60: Women in Black and the Witch Hunt
The following post has been submitted for Scribbit's May write-away-contest with the subject of spring. By coincidence, I just posted the following which is a story that took place in the spring...we're still officially in spring anyway....
Post 60: Women in Black and the Witch Hunt
This post is not about the women's organization that protests war in Israel or any other part of the world. It's about women wearing black and not standing out in the crowd. Iris Baron, a sexologist and marriage counsellor (link is to her Hebrew site) often mentions the issue of women wearing black at events, meetings, parties. etc. Many women wear black because they think it is slimming. What happens in effect is that in a room full of women, they are almost always wearing black, and therefore do not stand out in a crowd. Iris doesn't say that you have to wear 10 different colors (like I do, but that's another story) but she says if you have to wear black, break it with something else - a yellow scarf, a pink pendant, a tourquoise vest......something!
Therefore, a few months ago, I was invited to a costume party for Purim, which is a Jewish holiday that takes place in the spring. I wasn't thrilled about going to this party which would feature a loud d.j. and music that would probably not be my style, judging by the person who organized the party. I also knew that this party would attract approximately 40 women and 20 men,, with most of the men coming in couples - not with each other, but boyfriend and girlfriend. On the positive side, this group of people consists of mainly divorced women and men with children, in their 40s and 50s - a nice, friendly, huggy bunch who will be happy to greet you as if you are their best friends, even though you haven't seen them for several months. To top it off, my friend, Nili, recently separated, likes dancing and started to realize that she has to socialize in different circles than she did when she was married. Picnicking with her daughters and nieces is great family bonding but on the weekends when her daughters are with her ex husband, she started to go out to singles events as well.
So I picked up Nili at her house. She was dressed in a witch costume, totally black. I was dressed in a Mexican costume, all colored with a poncho and sombrero, and underneath it, I had on a bright green, sexy but flattering dress. I knew there were not going to be very many men at this party, but if there were, I wanted to make sure that I was noticed. After all, it was Purim. Time to celebrate, get drunk, be happy. Nili was looking forward to seeing the group of people and was actually happy that there were not going to be potential "boyfriends" as her attitude was that it takes one month to recover from each year of a relationship. Therefore, she would be "over" her marriage and ready to date in two years. In the meantime, she figured that no man would be looking at her, and so she could relax. Wearing the black, I assumed, even though she was a witch, simply added to her attitude of wanting to disappear from men.
We arrived at the party and sure enough....loud music....and I was wrong. Instead of 40 women and 20 men, there were 50 women and 10 men. Out of the 10 men, about 5 came in couples, 2 looked about 70 years old, 2 looked like Frankenstein, but didn't need a costume and one was very good looking. The good looking one walked into the living room where the dancing was taking place, and immediately starting flirting with Nili. Nili got frightened and walked away.I didn’t like the music, so I sat in the room between the kitchen and living room where I could sit quietly and observe the witch hunt as well. The Mystery Man, (let’s call him MMM) went into the kitchen but Nili had already gone back to the living room to dance. Nili sat at the left hand side of a two-seater couch. MMM sat next to her. Nili felt that there was someone on her right but didn’t turn to face him. Instead, she sat up and turned her body 45 degrees away from him. MMM remained patiently. And so this continued all night long, until I was fed up.
“Nili, we are NOT leaving this party until you say hello to him”
Nili: But….but…but…
Gilit: No buts. You don’t have to marry him. You don’t have to sleep with him. You don’t have to date him. You just have to say hello. He has been following you around all evening and you are acting like a total snob!
We then gathered our belongings and walked into the front yard on the way to my car. MMM was already waiting for Nili. She finally said bye to him and they started to talk. I did an about face and started to talk with the first random woman I found on the balcony.
When I saw that the coast was clear and they appeared to be finished their conversation, I collected my black witch friend and walked with her back to my car. The witch was in total shock. Like magic, I saw that something small and rectangle was her palm. It was MMM’s business card, complete with credentials, phone numbers and email.
Iris’s theory about wearing black didn’t work that well this evening. For MMM, Nili was the only woman for him. And the green dress didn’t do anything for this writer except feeling green with envy. There is a book called “Why Men Marry Bitches” – I guess Witches can apply as well.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Post 59: Deserted in the Desert
My relationship with Arie revolved around festivals during the last 3 years. We got together because of Breshit (Genesis) Festival near the Sea of Galilee. I accompanied him at several Sagol festivals on the Mediterranean Sea, and he split up with me (the first time) at Shantipi Festival near Achziv (also on the Mediterranean Sea). And at the last Sagol Festival in October, he knew I was coming to spend the weekend with him yet told another woman that he wanted to take their platonic relationship to "the next level" only hours before I was coming to be with him. When we both discovered each other's existence, Arie left the country with no one to come back to and destroyed any chance of friendship with me.
Five months later, I decided to go with a girlfriend down to the desert to the Zorba festival, between Mitpeh Ramon and Eilat. Later I found out that Arie would also be working there, but I decided that Israel is too small a country and that eventually I would run into him, so I should not let him rule my life, and do what I want to do.
So I did.....I did run into him several times at the festival but just said hello and avoided him. He had gotten a lift down to the festival with friends of his whom he managed to stop speaking to before he even arrived.
On the last day, he saw my girlfriend and I ready to leave and asked where we were going - I told him that that we were going to the center of the country, first to my friend's city, and then to mine. He said, with his puppy dog eyes, "i don't have a lift anymore and I have a long way to go." I answered "yes, it's a long way back to the Galilee. Good luck and have a good trip".
And we left.
What chutzpah. Yes, it's sad that he has no friends left, but to ask his ex girlfriend for a lift back after he had lied to her and dropped her like a hot potato after so many years without an explanation? After he had told all his friends and children about his "new girlfriend" (who promptly dumped him after hearing that he was with me simultaneously) but didn't bother to tell the new 'girlfriend' or 'me" about each other?
This writer doesn't have a boyfriend, but she has many wonderful friends in her life, and most important, has her self esteem. As for Arie, this writer deserted him in the desert.
Five months later, I decided to go with a girlfriend down to the desert to the Zorba festival, between Mitpeh Ramon and Eilat. Later I found out that Arie would also be working there, but I decided that Israel is too small a country and that eventually I would run into him, so I should not let him rule my life, and do what I want to do.
So I did.....I did run into him several times at the festival but just said hello and avoided him. He had gotten a lift down to the festival with friends of his whom he managed to stop speaking to before he even arrived.
On the last day, he saw my girlfriend and I ready to leave and asked where we were going - I told him that that we were going to the center of the country, first to my friend's city, and then to mine. He said, with his puppy dog eyes, "i don't have a lift anymore and I have a long way to go." I answered "yes, it's a long way back to the Galilee. Good luck and have a good trip".
And we left.
What chutzpah. Yes, it's sad that he has no friends left, but to ask his ex girlfriend for a lift back after he had lied to her and dropped her like a hot potato after so many years without an explanation? After he had told all his friends and children about his "new girlfriend" (who promptly dumped him after hearing that he was with me simultaneously) but didn't bother to tell the new 'girlfriend' or 'me" about each other?
This writer doesn't have a boyfriend, but she has many wonderful friends in her life, and most important, has her self esteem. As for Arie, this writer deserted him in the desert.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Post 58: Walk Me to My Car (Please)
Post 58: Walk Me to My Car (Please)
Despite the recession that has also hit Israel, there seems to be a LOT of parties going on, especially this month, for the occasion of the Jewish holiday of Purim. Perhaps with the high rate of unemployment, less people have to get up for work the next day and can stay up late.
One of the Purim events I went to was a musical performance in Tel Aviv. I sat on pillows and mattresses in a room full of people, mainly single, and mostly in their thirties and forties. The atmosphere there was very intimate and I really enjoyed the performance of the singer, floutist, and guitar player. I assume there was percussion as well, although I can't recall. The performers were dressed up in Purim costumes, as were some of the members of the audience.
After the performance, some of the people there drank a little bit too much and headed by foot to grab something to eat. They were mostly single people who didn't have to get up the next morning for work. I asked one of them to walk me back to my car. A little tipsy, my friend told the woman at his side, that he was walking me home (instead of to my car). She was a bit confused, but walked with him, another women, and two other bachelor men.
I had parked my car in a lot of a garage that was deserted in the evenings, so it was rather creepy to walk back there alone. So it was kind of funny that I didn't get much of a chance to talk to people after the performance, and just at the last minute, as I had 5 escorts to my car, I had the opportunity to meet new people. One had recognized me from playing the guitar on a hike we had been on. The other was impressed by my car, which I said was not mine, but belonged to the hitech company I worked for.
This writer slept in her own bed, alone, that night, but had five people walk back to her car alone and gave her a good night hug.
Despite the recession that has also hit Israel, there seems to be a LOT of parties going on, especially this month, for the occasion of the Jewish holiday of Purim. Perhaps with the high rate of unemployment, less people have to get up for work the next day and can stay up late.
One of the Purim events I went to was a musical performance in Tel Aviv. I sat on pillows and mattresses in a room full of people, mainly single, and mostly in their thirties and forties. The atmosphere there was very intimate and I really enjoyed the performance of the singer, floutist, and guitar player. I assume there was percussion as well, although I can't recall. The performers were dressed up in Purim costumes, as were some of the members of the audience.
After the performance, some of the people there drank a little bit too much and headed by foot to grab something to eat. They were mostly single people who didn't have to get up the next morning for work. I asked one of them to walk me back to my car. A little tipsy, my friend told the woman at his side, that he was walking me home (instead of to my car). She was a bit confused, but walked with him, another women, and two other bachelor men.
I had parked my car in a lot of a garage that was deserted in the evenings, so it was rather creepy to walk back there alone. So it was kind of funny that I didn't get much of a chance to talk to people after the performance, and just at the last minute, as I had 5 escorts to my car, I had the opportunity to meet new people. One had recognized me from playing the guitar on a hike we had been on. The other was impressed by my car, which I said was not mine, but belonged to the hitech company I worked for.
This writer slept in her own bed, alone, that night, but had five people walk back to her car alone and gave her a good night hug.
Monday, March 23, 2009
No boyfriend. No problems.
I was looking for an image for this blog, because no one understood the previous one. So I found this image on http://www.zazzle.com/no_boyfriend_no_problems_tshirt-235322496976180293
and have asked them for permission. I think it's appropriate for my blog and would appreciate your comments. If the Zazzle people tell me to take it down, then I will....at least I was polite and asked them, unlike what other people do with Google Images.
For those of you more experienced bloggers, please let me know the right protocol on this.
By the way, if any of you are good in photoshop and want to do me a favor by changing the wording on the t-shirt to 'I don't want a boyfriend", then I can change the image once again!
This writer knows how to write so she will leave the expertise on graphics to her readers!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Post 57: Grown up and Homeless
Post 57: Grown up and Homeless (or "All Dressed up and Nowhere to Go")
What do you do when you live with your son and you want to meet (in private) with a man who has custody of his children? Ideally, you wait until both of your children or at your exspouse's home? But if that spouse rarely sees his/her children, it can get tricky. And what do widows and widowers do? I suppose if they have family in Israel, they can arrange to have their children stay with their parents/grandparents.
However, what do you tell your teenaged children? That you have a "sex' date? No way....that you have someone staying over in order in the guest room because he is doing some work on the apartment the next day, and wants to get an early start and miss traffic? Plumbing? Fixing the computer? Ahh, but then he should be in the guest room....and how would you explain him ending up in your own room...it's simply not an option.....ideally, when you have a "real" relationship, you can simply say "my boyfriend is staying over tonight"....but you aren't going to reach that status in one day.....you first have to date...and if you are a "Rules" girl, and don't go to bed on the first (or second, or third, or.....?) date, you still aren't going to tell your children about it....
Recently, a former "fuck buddy" of mine moved back in with his parents, temporarily, to save money. He's now dating someone, who has her own place, so he's ok, but supposing we were back together for human warmth purposes...it just would be impossible.
This writer doesn't have to face this issue anymore, but hopefully she will meet a nice guy with his own place soon, before the snow in the Golan melts.....(the Golan has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway. The point is that the nights are still cold!)
What do you do when you live with your son and you want to meet (in private) with a man who has custody of his children? Ideally, you wait until both of your children or at your exspouse's home? But if that spouse rarely sees his/her children, it can get tricky. And what do widows and widowers do? I suppose if they have family in Israel, they can arrange to have their children stay with their parents/grandparents.
However, what do you tell your teenaged children? That you have a "sex' date? No way....that you have someone staying over in order in the guest room because he is doing some work on the apartment the next day, and wants to get an early start and miss traffic? Plumbing? Fixing the computer? Ahh, but then he should be in the guest room....and how would you explain him ending up in your own room...it's simply not an option.....ideally, when you have a "real" relationship, you can simply say "my boyfriend is staying over tonight"....but you aren't going to reach that status in one day.....you first have to date...and if you are a "Rules" girl, and don't go to bed on the first (or second, or third, or.....?) date, you still aren't going to tell your children about it....
Recently, a former "fuck buddy" of mine moved back in with his parents, temporarily, to save money. He's now dating someone, who has her own place, so he's ok, but supposing we were back together for human warmth purposes...it just would be impossible.
This writer doesn't have to face this issue anymore, but hopefully she will meet a nice guy with his own place soon, before the snow in the Golan melts.....(the Golan has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway. The point is that the nights are still cold!)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Post 56: It's Raining Women
Post 56: It's Raining Women
The best thing that actually happened at the 'singles' workshop that I went to a few months ago was meeting a new friend whom I'll call Nili. Nili works in my neighborhood and is also full of energy and open to meeting new people and ideas, even if they aren't always fun or successful. We have been spending so much time together recently, that I've been calling her one of my "wives". I'm not planning to change my sexual preference to women, but the number of single women (both divorced or never married) in their forties is really astounding.
But we gain power and self-esteem knowing that we are not alone, and that we can have fun even in the absence of men...and to be honest, sometimes more fun, (though not the physical kind)....
I think that a lot has to do with the fact that I have been abandoned or I myself have "dropped" people from my lives....yes, it hurts at times. Some I miss more - some I do not miss at all, but in their place have entered some amazing people -men and women. I know this is corny, but I am really blessed by virtual (Web-based) and real friends...I have introduced them to each other and this has created a domino effect. "Hey, Gilit', I thought you knew a lot of people, but after meeting Nili, Sherrri, Mali, etc. etc., I realize that whomever you don't know, they know!"
To be honest, this has been fun, but also exhausting. The funny thing is that when we specifically go to events targeted to meet single men, we end up meeting more women. Or at least I do. The other night, when I was at a Purim party, the d.j. played the song "It's Raining Men".
With about 50 women and 10 men at the said party, this writer sang "It's Raining Women".
The best thing that actually happened at the 'singles' workshop that I went to a few months ago was meeting a new friend whom I'll call Nili. Nili works in my neighborhood and is also full of energy and open to meeting new people and ideas, even if they aren't always fun or successful. We have been spending so much time together recently, that I've been calling her one of my "wives". I'm not planning to change my sexual preference to women, but the number of single women (both divorced or never married) in their forties is really astounding.
But we gain power and self-esteem knowing that we are not alone, and that we can have fun even in the absence of men...and to be honest, sometimes more fun, (though not the physical kind)....
I think that a lot has to do with the fact that I have been abandoned or I myself have "dropped" people from my lives....yes, it hurts at times. Some I miss more - some I do not miss at all, but in their place have entered some amazing people -men and women. I know this is corny, but I am really blessed by virtual (Web-based) and real friends...I have introduced them to each other and this has created a domino effect. "Hey, Gilit', I thought you knew a lot of people, but after meeting Nili, Sherrri, Mali, etc. etc., I realize that whomever you don't know, they know!"
To be honest, this has been fun, but also exhausting. The funny thing is that when we specifically go to events targeted to meet single men, we end up meeting more women. Or at least I do. The other night, when I was at a Purim party, the d.j. played the song "It's Raining Men".
With about 50 women and 10 men at the said party, this writer sang "It's Raining Women".
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Post 55: One bar mitzvah and a funeral
Post 55: One Bar Mitzvah and a Funeral
Since THE breakup in November, 2008, I've been meeting unconventional men and women in unconventional places. Life would be just too boring if and I'd have nothing to write about, if I met conventional people in conventional places.....or if I didn't meet anyone at all....but then I would probably write about the people I encounter in movies, on TV and in books. For example, I recently finished "Eat, Pray, Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert and seriously felt that I had said goodbye to a friend when the book was finished!
After the flurry of strange men that I recently met, I retreated to a bar mitzvah, where I knew I would be spending a weekend with religious men and women, most of them married, and therefore I would be safe from close encounters of the Israeli kind.
A close friend, recently separated, sent me a text message to 'behave myself". I assured her that I would be ok. I was in a hotel near the beach, sharing a room with my son, and with a full schedule - candle lighting, shabbat dinner, breakfast, Saturday morning prayers and Torah reading, lunch, etc. etc.
My son and I arrived a few hours before the Sabbath (Shabbat) was to begin. I'm not religious, but many of the guests were, which means they had to stay overnight in order to avoid traveling from their homes to the bar mitzvah on Shabbat. It was a beautfiul day, unusually warm for February, even in Israel, and with the beach literally in the backyard of the hotel, I decided to take a walk before the festivities began.
My son was happy to stay reading the paper and watching cable television (which we do not have at home) so I head out in running shoes, a tunic and pants. No makeup. No bathing suit....just me and my extra 5 kilos.
The beach was located on a semi-isolated section of the Mediterranean Sea, with beautiful cliffs on the east, and the sea on the west. I headed north for a peaceful and leisurely walk. I passed the families with children and the thin women in bikinis. I watched the surfers in their wet suits pack up their equipment and head back to their cars. One of them said hello to me and instead of ignoring him, I smiled back and we started to talk. He chatted me up and invited himself back to the hotel, but I told him that I was sharing it with my son, and that it wouldn't be appropriate. He decided to give me his number anyway. He was thirty something and thought I was the same age. I told him that it was the first time anyone had started up with me on the beach in 20 years, and thanked him for massaging my ego. He wanted to massage something more tangible than my ego, telling me that I looked good and was sexy.
And that's when I realized that perhaps not all good looking men in their thirties are attracted to their twiggy counterparts in bathingsuits. Perhaps bored by the thin human scenery, the surfer was turned on by rounder female mammals (and I don't mean dolphins).
This writer took the surfer's phone number and returned to the hotel. She didn't spend the night with the surfer, but enjoyed the weekend. And then on Saturday night her friends' mother died. She spent Friday on a beach, Saturday in a synagogue and Sunday in a cemetary. One bar mitzvah and a funeral.
Since THE breakup in November, 2008, I've been meeting unconventional men and women in unconventional places. Life would be just too boring if and I'd have nothing to write about, if I met conventional people in conventional places.....or if I didn't meet anyone at all....but then I would probably write about the people I encounter in movies, on TV and in books. For example, I recently finished "Eat, Pray, Love", by Elizabeth Gilbert and seriously felt that I had said goodbye to a friend when the book was finished!
After the flurry of strange men that I recently met, I retreated to a bar mitzvah, where I knew I would be spending a weekend with religious men and women, most of them married, and therefore I would be safe from close encounters of the Israeli kind.
A close friend, recently separated, sent me a text message to 'behave myself". I assured her that I would be ok. I was in a hotel near the beach, sharing a room with my son, and with a full schedule - candle lighting, shabbat dinner, breakfast, Saturday morning prayers and Torah reading, lunch, etc. etc.
My son and I arrived a few hours before the Sabbath (Shabbat) was to begin. I'm not religious, but many of the guests were, which means they had to stay overnight in order to avoid traveling from their homes to the bar mitzvah on Shabbat. It was a beautfiul day, unusually warm for February, even in Israel, and with the beach literally in the backyard of the hotel, I decided to take a walk before the festivities began.
My son was happy to stay reading the paper and watching cable television (which we do not have at home) so I head out in running shoes, a tunic and pants. No makeup. No bathing suit....just me and my extra 5 kilos.
The beach was located on a semi-isolated section of the Mediterranean Sea, with beautiful cliffs on the east, and the sea on the west. I headed north for a peaceful and leisurely walk. I passed the families with children and the thin women in bikinis. I watched the surfers in their wet suits pack up their equipment and head back to their cars. One of them said hello to me and instead of ignoring him, I smiled back and we started to talk. He chatted me up and invited himself back to the hotel, but I told him that I was sharing it with my son, and that it wouldn't be appropriate. He decided to give me his number anyway. He was thirty something and thought I was the same age. I told him that it was the first time anyone had started up with me on the beach in 20 years, and thanked him for massaging my ego. He wanted to massage something more tangible than my ego, telling me that I looked good and was sexy.
And that's when I realized that perhaps not all good looking men in their thirties are attracted to their twiggy counterparts in bathingsuits. Perhaps bored by the thin human scenery, the surfer was turned on by rounder female mammals (and I don't mean dolphins).
This writer took the surfer's phone number and returned to the hotel. She didn't spend the night with the surfer, but enjoyed the weekend. And then on Saturday night her friends' mother died. She spent Friday on a beach, Saturday in a synagogue and Sunday in a cemetary. One bar mitzvah and a funeral.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Post 54: Close Encounters of the Israeli Kind
Post 54: Close Encounters of the Israeli Kind
Until recently, my contact with aliens were residents of Israel working here illegally. I don't know a lot about science fiction. I've seen some of the more famous movies like "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", E.T. and Star Wars.
So you can imagine that I raised my eyebrow when I went to a singles workshop and met a guy who claimed to have seen aliens himself. During our first encounter, he seemed as normal (or as strange) as any other candidate that I have for dating- divorced, non-smoking, and father. When we actually had our first date, he told me about his experience channeling aliens and his therapy with them in Kadima, Israel. Without revealing his name, he is one of the people who are referred to in Adrian Dvir's book. I'll call him Benny.
The funny thing is that I was more disturbed about his disfunctional family than his encounters with aliens. There was no way that I was going to get involved with another man who did not communicate with his siblings and parents. I am seeking a partner, not a patient. I stood by my former boyfriend while he was going through therapy (only to be cheated on in the end!) and was not going to get involved again. I complained to my acupuncturist (who lives in Kadima but did not know that it had been a center for alien activity) that I am off kilter, because I continue to attract strange men into my life. She calmed me down, assuring me that perhaps I just want to help and nurture people - and it doesn't necessarily mean that I am as strange as these men.
I did succeed in saying goodbye to Benny after the first date, and recommending he see a psychologist, rather than me playing psychologist. I mean there are other guys out there, and he's not the last non-smoking divorcee on earth.
If this writer met a guy who got therapy from aliens, who knows whom she'll meet next - maybe an alien himself? Well, as long as he is divorced, educated, emotinally mature and non-smoking.
Until recently, my contact with aliens were residents of Israel working here illegally. I don't know a lot about science fiction. I've seen some of the more famous movies like "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", E.T. and Star Wars.
So you can imagine that I raised my eyebrow when I went to a singles workshop and met a guy who claimed to have seen aliens himself. During our first encounter, he seemed as normal (or as strange) as any other candidate that I have for dating- divorced, non-smoking, and father. When we actually had our first date, he told me about his experience channeling aliens and his therapy with them in Kadima, Israel. Without revealing his name, he is one of the people who are referred to in Adrian Dvir's book. I'll call him Benny.
The funny thing is that I was more disturbed about his disfunctional family than his encounters with aliens. There was no way that I was going to get involved with another man who did not communicate with his siblings and parents. I am seeking a partner, not a patient. I stood by my former boyfriend while he was going through therapy (only to be cheated on in the end!) and was not going to get involved again. I complained to my acupuncturist (who lives in Kadima but did not know that it had been a center for alien activity) that I am off kilter, because I continue to attract strange men into my life. She calmed me down, assuring me that perhaps I just want to help and nurture people - and it doesn't necessarily mean that I am as strange as these men.
I did succeed in saying goodbye to Benny after the first date, and recommending he see a psychologist, rather than me playing psychologist. I mean there are other guys out there, and he's not the last non-smoking divorcee on earth.
If this writer met a guy who got therapy from aliens, who knows whom she'll meet next - maybe an alien himself? Well, as long as he is divorced, educated, emotinally mature and non-smoking.
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