Post 60: Women in Black and the Witch Hunt

The following post has been submitted for Scribbit's May write-away-contest with the subject of spring. By coincidence, I just posted the following which is a story that took place in the spring...we're still officially in spring anyway....

Post 60: Women in Black and the Witch Hunt

This post is not about the women's organization that protests war in Israel or any other part of the world. It's about women wearing black and not standing out in the crowd. Iris Baron, a sexologist and marriage counsellor (link is to her Hebrew site) often mentions the issue of women wearing black at events, meetings, parties. etc. Many women wear black because they think it is slimming. What happens in effect is that in a room full of women, they are almost always wearing black, and therefore do not stand out in a crowd. Iris doesn't say that you have to wear 10 different colors (like I do, but that's another story) but she says if you have to wear black, break it with something else - a yellow scarf, a pink pendant, a tourquoise vest......something!

Therefore, a few months ago, I was invited to a costume party for Purim, which is a Jewish holiday that takes place in the spring. I wasn't thrilled about going to this party which would feature a loud d.j. and music that would probably not be my style, judging by the person who organized the party. I also knew that this party would attract approximately 40 women and 20 men,, with most of the men coming in couples - not with each other, but boyfriend and girlfriend. On the positive side, this group of people consists of mainly divorced women and men with children, in their 40s and 50s - a nice, friendly, huggy bunch who will be happy to greet you as if you are their best friends, even though you haven't seen them for several months. To top it off, my friend, Nili, recently separated, likes dancing and started to realize that she has to socialize in different circles than she did when she was married. Picnicking with her daughters and nieces is great family bonding but on the weekends when her daughters are with her ex husband, she started to go out to singles events as well.

So I picked up Nili at her house. She was dressed in a witch costume, totally black. I was dressed in a Mexican costume, all colored with a poncho and sombrero, and underneath it, I had on a bright green, sexy but flattering dress. I knew there were not going to be very many men at this party, but if there were, I wanted to make sure that I was noticed. After all, it was Purim. Time to celebrate, get drunk, be happy. Nili was looking forward to seeing the group of people and was actually happy that there were not going to be potential "boyfriends" as her attitude was that it takes one month to recover from each year of a relationship. Therefore, she would be "over" her marriage and ready to date in two years. In the meantime, she figured that no man would be looking at her, and so she could relax. Wearing the black, I assumed, even though she was a witch, simply added to her attitude of wanting to disappear from men.

We arrived at the party and sure enough....loud music....and I was wrong. Instead of 40 women and 20 men, there were 50 women and 10 men. Out of the 10 men, about 5 came in couples, 2 looked about 70 years old, 2 looked like Frankenstein, but didn't need a costume and one was very good looking. The good looking one walked into the living room where the dancing was taking place, and immediately starting flirting with Nili. Nili got frightened and walked away.

I didn’t like the music, so I sat in the room between the kitchen and living room where I could sit quietly and observe the witch hunt as well. The Mystery Man, (let’s call him MMM) went into the kitchen but Nili had already gone back to the living room to dance. Nili sat at the left hand side of a two-seater couch. MMM sat next to her. Nili felt that there was someone on her right but didn’t turn to face him. Instead, she sat up and turned her body 45 degrees away from him. MMM remained patiently. And so this continued all night long, until I was fed up.

“Nili, we are NOT leaving this party until you say hello to him”

Nili: But….but…but…

Gilit: No buts. You don’t have to marry him. You don’t have to sleep with him. You don’t have to date him. You just have to say hello. He has been following you around all evening and you are acting like a total snob!

We then gathered our belongings and walked into the front yard on the way to my car. MMM was already waiting for Nili. She finally said bye to him and they started to talk. I did an about face and started to talk with the first random woman I found on the balcony.

When I saw that the coast was clear and they appeared to be finished their conversation, I collected my black witch friend and walked with her back to my car. The witch was in total shock. Like magic, I saw that something small and rectangle was her palm. It was MMM’s business card, complete with credentials, phone numbers and email.

Iris’s theory about wearing black didn’t work that well this evening. For MMM, Nili was the only woman for him. And the green dress didn’t do anything for this writer except feeling green with envy. There is a book called “Why Men Marry Bitches” – I guess Witches can apply as well.

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