Post 11: The Career Change

originally created as column eleven, November 2000

The Career Change

Some people change jobs for the opportunity to earn a higher salary, work closer to home, work longer or shorter hours, change careers completely, have less or more responsibility. I changed jobs a few years ago to meet men and to get inspiration for this blog (then column). After working for eight years with middle-aged married men and menopausal divorced women – actually a few women were single and some had babies, but others died or got sick with various forms of cancer or heart attacks – it really was depressing! The men seemed to flourish and mellow while the women seemed to get more hot flushes and more bitter.

As I was approaching 40, I saw myself as a prime candidate to become another statistic and decided I had to get out. Once I made the decision there was no turning back, so I decided to get into hi-tech. Without a technical background, I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get in, but I did, albeit through the back door, but in. I thought I would meet some nice computer nerd, divorced, around my age, and that we would build a cubicle in the suburbs, drive into the city together and relieve the pain of traffic jams. I mean with Israel falling not far behind the U.S. in divorce statistics, I thought that the divorced men would be waiting for me with open arms.

I was wrong. I couldn’t find even one divorced man. Apparently, the only divorced men in the company already managed to upgrade to their second marriages. (As I’ve written about in another column, you always need more than one release in hi-tech). And no other men were divorced because they were so young they haven’t even been married! I quickly learned that although there were a lot of fathers around there were too many young, attractive guys. If I just wanted sex, then I, thirty-something would be sexually compatible with these twenty-something guys, but since this society does not accept such an age difference, I realized that I didn’t have a chance.

I did pass for ten years younger on a few occasions, but I didn’t want to lie about my personal status and the existence of my flat mate. (“I share my apartment with a great guy. He’s attractive with blond hair and blue eyes and is a lot of fun. Only problem is he is too young to share paying the bills”). I often think my son should go out and pick up boyfriends for me while I stay at home watching Disney videos and Pokeman tv shows. (I can tolerate Pokeman but I can’t stand Barney. Luckily, the Hebrew language version never really caught on that strongly in Israel).

So that’s where I find myself today – surrounded by attractive single and married men. Wrong place and wrong time. Who knows – ten years from now I might be remarried and these guys will finally be divorced*. As for the nerds, I must be one myself as I can’t seem to find them.

* a bit of foreshadowing...

This writer is managing to learn new skills, despite being distracted by hi-tech hunks.

.