Post 6: Breasts are not Shoulders

originally created as column 6, September 2000

Why do men think that breasts are like shoulders?

They fondle them like shoulders, and they don’t seem to know that they are not shoulders and are not pillows, but actual breasts. Our nipples are not raisins that will come off when plucked, and tension will not necessarily removed when fondled. Some women like some pain, and I must admit to liking my breasts fondled, except when I was breast feeding - –then breasts to me were the most asexual thing around, and I couldn’t figure out my then husband’s great interest in them. And if some people say that it is because they still miss their mothers, then why don’t women (who also drank milk from their mother’s breasts?) have this great need to seek out breasts?

And what is this business with bra straps showing in Israel? Don’t they make strapless bras here? Why wear this great sexy backless, off the shoulder peach colored dress with a black bra strap across the back? What’s the point of the backless look when the bra strap has to ruin it? I’m no fashion expert, but can someone explain this please? Is there an excess of straps that Israelis need to use them? I guess they wear their strapless bras under t-shirts and long sleeved high cut shirts, when they are not needed. If someone can explain this to me, I would appreciate it. Some of my girlfriends think it’s sexy; others agree it’s just plain ugly, but I just don’t get it.

This writer is the proud owner of more than three strapless bras.