Post 53: Return of the Ex - Again

He's back. That is he's back in the country after three months abroad. In another country. On another continent. We were together for three years with a short breakup during the Second Lebanon War. During that breakup, in 2006, I left him alone, as I was told "If you love something/someone, set it free".

So I did, and he came back. I told him that if we were to get back together it would only be with counselling. Be careful what you wished for. He agreed. With the help of an amazing psychologist/relationship counsellor our communication got better, and our relationship, in some ways, got stronger. Arie also started to see his own psychologist. I knew that would either seal or break our relationship. Due to some serious childhood issues, Arie would be, as I envisioned, opening up a Pandora's box, as he began therapy. But I rationalized - would I abandon a friend, male or female, if he or she, G-d forbid, was going through physical therapy such as chemotherapy? No, I would not. And so I stood by Arie as he began his psychological therapy.
And the demons began to come out of the Pandora box. It was difficult, but I stood by him......until he decided to leave the country for a few months, and we agreed to separate. But we also agreed to maintain a sexually exclusive relationship until he boarded the plane.

Problem was that he had already decided to start a new relationship before he got on the plane. He told his children. He told his best friends. He conveniently forgot to tell his new 'girlfriend" about our sexual relationship and she thought that he no longer had a girlfriend. He also forgot to tell me about his new "love".

When I found out, several hours after his departure, I wrote to him to get out of my life. He did. When I told the "girlfriend" about me, she thanked me and allegedly cut off ties with him. He thought he could dance at two weddings, but ended up with none.

I was rather apprehensive when I looked on the calendar and realized that he was due to land last week. Our children were still in touch, so I knew more or less that he was safe and that he was returning to Israel. I also knew that there was a chance that he would call me when he returned to an empty apartment, with no girlfriend..

He called a few days ago.

This writer did not answer her cellphone when she recognized his phone number on her call display. Perhaps she is still hurt. Perhaps she is still lonely, but she has moved on. Again.